iPod Cases

Yearning for Love? Stop Blaming the Mirror

The diligent gardener gathered his gloves and tools, and went outside one fine morning to till the soil in his patch of earth. Soon he was on his hands and knees, removing weeds, turning over dirt, putting new plants into the ground and adding fertilizer.

As the sun rose, it grew hot. The gardener decided to get a glass of cool water for refreshment. In the hall on his way to the kitchen, he caught his reflection in a mirror. He was stunned and unhappy to see his disheveled hair, grimy clothes, and sweaty face.

Forgetting about his drink, the gardener rushed to the kitchen faucet, wet a dishtowel, and returned to the mirror, swiping as vigorously as he had applied himself to his gardening earlier. He cleaned and cleaned that mirror, but it still showed him as dirty and unkempt.

He returned armed with a vinegar solution and new towels, but his reflection did not improve even after another thorough cleansing.

Suddenly he had what he thought was a brilliant insight. “I’ll simply change the mirror. That ought to do the trick.”

He yanked that mirror off the wall, and went to the attic to look for a new one. When he found it, he put it on the old mirror’s place and  polished it until it was gleaming and spotless.

To his dismay, however, his reflection did not improve, and now had the added dust from the attic.

“What’s going on here!” he cried. “I even changed mirrors, yet my reflection doesn’t get better. What’s wrong with that darn mirror?”

This simple parable makes it easy, of course, to spot the diligent gardener’s real problem. If he doesn’t like his reflection, he needs to take a shower, not switch the looking glass.

Yet when it comes to our own reflections, many of us behave exactly like the diligent gardener. We look outward and rail at the mirror instead of inward. Indeed, we blame anyone and anything except ourselves for the misery, pain, ill health, and general lack in our lives.

A wise teacher named Jesus once discussed this very human tendency to look outward and fixate on others’ problems instead of looking at and within self to solve our own. We do this as individuals, and we do this collectively, rarely realizing that our bodies, our lives, and our world are simply mirrors that reflect who we really are right back to us.

Scary thought, isn’t it? Considering the state of the world today, that reflection can at first seem a hopeless mess. We see (and often experience) violence, hatred, injustice, poverty, intimidation, dehumanization, pollution, tyranny. How in the world can I ever make a difference in all of that?

Appearances, however, can be deceiving. Look past the mirror and connect the spiritual dots. Maybe–just maybe–this world collectively and our lives individually are merely reflecting back to us what’s going on within ourselves that we would prefer to ignore. In other words, if we change something within ourselves for the better, we may just change the world for the better, too.

It’s not such a tall order after all. By embracing the mirror’s message instead of ignoring it, we can start the self-change ball rolling. Should we care to pay attention to it, the reflection tells us that what’s going on within us can be summed up simply as lack of love.

Despite our protestations to the contrary, we do not feel loved, even surrounded by our families or within a relationship. Nor do we feel especially loving. We may even suspect that loving our neighbors is for chumps or dupes, even if we dare not voice that thought aloud.

If we want to feel and experience the changes we hope that love can make in our lives, and if we don’t want to be made fools of us, then it’s time to wise up about love. It always starts with and within self. We cannot give to others what we have not claimed first for ourselves, love included.

What keeps us from claiming love for ourselves? In two words: self-judgment. Once we understand the deeper nature of love and how self-judgment blocks and hampers love, we will have better insight into how the reflection helps us find the ways we are judging ourselves instead of loving ourselves.

No longer scary or hopeless, the reflection is now part of the solution.

Self-love, then, and ultimately a more loving world are possible by freeing ourselves from our self-judgments. This is by no means hopeless, yet it is at once both simple and difficult, thanks to the fears and lies about love that surround us and make it too terrifying to stop blaming the mirror and ignoring the reflection.

About the Author

Candace (C.L.) Talmadge is the author of the epic fantasy Green Stone of Healing(R) series and a political columnist syndicated by North Star Writers Group. As StoneScribe, she blogs about the intersection of politics and spirituality.

Griffin Reflect Mirrored Case Review (for the Ipod Touch 2G)

Klean Kanteen 27 oz Stainless Steel Reflect Water Bottle (Stainless Bamboo Cap) – Mirrored Stainless $29.95 The Reflect raises the bar. Again. The Mirror finish is shiny, but we chose the name for a different reason. It symbolizes our deep commitment to continued innovation, and our promise to you to deliver value and quality with integrity. The first of its kind. The Reflect is crafted using just sustainably harvested bamboo, food-grade silicone and stainless steel. Beautiful in its simplicity and deli…

Gila LES361 Heat Control Residential Window Film, Platinum, 36-Inch by 15-Feet $28.99 36″ x 15′ Insulating Retains up to 55% winter heating Reflects up to 70% summer heat Reduces up to 99% UV rays Safe for duel panes Covers approximately two patio doors, seven 24″ X 36″ windows. Platinum Boxed…

3d Reflect Mirror Wall Decor Large – Butterfly Set of 6 3D Reflect Mirror Wall Decor Large – Butterfly Decorative 3D peel and stick mirror wall décor. Mix and match these sets to create a cool 3D Mirror collage. Easy to stick on a wall, window or mirror. Stick one of these on a wrapped gift instead of a bow and make it unique. Gift boxed….

3d Reflect Mirror Wall Decor Small – Dragonfly Set of 6 Decorative 3D peel and stick mirror wall décor. Mix and match these sets to create a cool 3D Mirror collage. Easy to stick on a wall, window or mirror. Stick one of these on a wrapped gift instead of a bow and make it unique. Gift boxed….

Rearview Spy Glasses Mirror Vision – See What’s Behind You! $4.95 Rearview Glasses. A pair of shades with the outer portion of each lens half silvered on the eyeball side. Glance left or right and see behind you. Cool undercover item for the younger sleuth or the dirty old man on the beach who doesn’t want to be discovered. Whatever your motive, you need a pair now….

Photo Jigsaw Puzzle of Time for Reflection by Elsie Harding from Mary Evans $29.99 Photo Puzzle, Time for Reflection by Elsie Harding. A ballerina in a very horizontal tutu skirt pauses by a mirrored door and is reflected along with the colour Chinese lanterns hanging nearby. Chosen by Mary Evans. 10×14 Photo Puzzle with 252 pieces. Packed in black cardboard box of dimensions 5 5/8 x 7 5/8 x 1 1/5. Puzzle image 5×7 affixed to box top. Puzzle pieces printed on RA4 paper at 300 dp…

Window Tint Film Do It Yourself Kit – Natural Steel $17.98 Protect the privacy of your car with the Sunmask Window Tint Film Do It Yourself Kit (DIY) – Mirror Reflective! This window tint film allows you to look outside without others looking in! This window tint film is easy to apply, and comes with full installation instructions and a touch-knife. It is adhesive, so once you apply the film to your window, it will not come off easily. This window tin…

New Griffin Reflect Black Chrome Case for iPhone 3G 3GS $19.89 Brand New Griffin Reflect Case for Apple iPhone 3G Carry your iPod, iPhone or other music player in style with carrying solutions from Griffin. The Reflect case is a durable polycarbonate mirrored-chrome shell that gives easy access to iPhone’s touch screen. A matte black rubberized case back complements the reflective front, and gives you a secure grip. Black/Chrome, Open Face, Reflect Case Co…

Jerdon Classic JGL9W Lighted Tri-fold Mirror, 5x Magnification $34.99 The Jerdon Deluxe Lighted Makeup Mirror features two adjustable side mirrors….

Thank you Love Mirrored Lake Card 5 x 7 inch premium quality folded paper greeting card. Thank you cards & photo Thank you cards from Greeting Card Universe will bring a smile to your loved ones’ face. Make the occasion a memorable one by sending a custom Thank you card. Send a paper Thank you card from Greeting Card Universe this year. This paper card includes the following themes: thank you, love, and lake. Greeting Card Univers…